Just in case I re-read my last blog post someday and decide I was whining about how terrible my life it, I've decided to make sure I remember the things I love about being mommy. Although days can be long and hectic, I can't imagine investing my life in anything else.
One of my favorite things to do is rock my baby to sleep. Julia let me rock her to sleep forever - until she was almost 2. But Ava's being less cooperative. Every once in a while, though, she gives up while I'm holding her. I love feeling her little hands stop grabbing at things and start running over my hands softly. Her little body relaxes against mine, and I just want to freeze that moment forever. Funny how I was in such a rush to get Ethan to go to sleep on his own in his crib. I wish I had just held him more.
Kids overflow with joy and awe at things that I would miss if they weren't there to point it out to me.
"Look, mommy! A butterfly!"
"What a beautiful pink flower!"
"Hey! There's a kitty!"
They remind me to get out of my narrow, "I'm in a hurry to do this and move on to the next thing" mindset and live.
Maybe this is just the teacher in me, but I love to watch my kids learn something new. The sense of accomplishement on their faces as they learn to crawl, walk, talk, or read delights me.
God has used this season of my life to teach me so many things about myself and Him. I've learned that His grace covers my impatience, quick temper, and failure to listen. He has taught me so much about what real love looks like and how He feels when His people just don't get it. I am learning to rely on Him for strength every minute of every day and to come to Him with my "impossible" problems. He gives me supernatural patience, joy, energy, and love for the unlovely when I abide in Him.
These are not things that will look good on a resume someday. The world doesn't value many of these qualities highly. To some it may look like I'm wasting my life - my potential. And even though some days it's tempting, I continually choose not to see my life that way. I know that the things God does in me today are the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see - not only in my life but in the lives of my kids. What could be better than that?
Now that I've written these nice things about being a mommy, time to put them into practice. My girls are screaming happily and woke up Ava.... Time to stop rambling and move.