Monday, January 7, 2013

Farmer's Wife??

Apparently I am now a farmer's wife.  Today is Caleb's first day at his new job.  He is super excited!

And I would like to point out that it was never my goal in life to be a farmer's wife.

I'm not really much of a country girl.

And yes.  We will be moving to the country.
10 acres 20 miles from anywhere.
And me - scared of snakes and mountain lions and disliking bugs and being hot and sweaty.

Somehow my dreams for me are turning out not to be God's dreams for me.  I love Isaiah 55, but when I read verses 8-9, I seem to have thought they applied to everyone but me.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
         Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
         So are My ways higher than your ways
         And My thoughts than your thoughts."  NAS

How many times have God and I had this conversation??  "Surely I have some decent ideas about what I'd like to do with my life, God.   I mean, my plans can't all be that awful.  It's my life after all."

And God has been ruthless in pursuing me, pointing out to me again and again that not only are His plans for me better than my fumbling attempts to organize my life, but they are perfect. 
Perfectly gracious. 
Full of joy and hope. 
Exactly what I need to make me the person He wants me to be - not just me, but my husband and my kids.

I am learning - SLOWLY as usual - to trust.  Trust that the house that I see as not ideal is His perfect plan for my family.  Trust that mountain lions will not snatch my kids for supper right out of my yard.

And not just trust in resignation but joyfully trust.

Anticipating what God will do next.
Being excited for the opportunity to see the stars and the sunrises and sunsets.
Excited for the lack of wallpaper (!) and for the attached garage and master bath and HUGE south facing windows.
And even excited that Caleb can have a wood stove (even though I think it's ugly and will make a mess).  Oops!  Did I say that out loud??  =) 

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."  James 1:17 ESV