Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Five loaves and two fish

Do you ever feel like the five loaves and two fish?

I do this morning. 

I just read Luke 9, and listen to this:
"Then He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed them, and broke them, and kept giving them to the disciples to set before the people.  And they all ate and were satisfied; and the broken pieces which they had left over were picked up, twelve baskets full." 
Luke 9: 16-17

Many days I feel like I was made to be enough to feed one person, and I'm being asked to feed 5,000 hungry men instead.  I feel stretched and thin and lacking and so obviously not even close to enough.

Jesus knew the five loaves and two fish were not enough to feed all those people.  But He also knew that He can do the impossible.  And so he blessed the small amount of food and broke it. 

Ouch.  That's the part that hurts me, I think. I don't want to be broken.  I want to feel like I am sane.  That I have some control over my own life.  I want to be whole. 

But my desires look so small in the light of the fact that my Savior's hands are on me.  That He is blessing me. 

And so somehow. 
The food turns out to be enough after all.  Not just enough but overflowing.  Twelve extra baskets full.  Plenty for everyone and then some! 

And maybe?  Impossibly?  That means that in the hands of Jesus, with His blessing on me, and His hands breaking me and giving me away, I can be enough too.  Not just to survive and get by but to overflow. 

Overflow with joy in the midst of sadness. 
Peace in the midst of chaos. 
Hope in the middle of despair. 
Goodness and patience with my kids. 
Love when I've been hurt. 
Grace for sinners. 
Joy in being broken.