The last few weeks have been crazy! Easter was especially bad. I kept wanting to stop, sit, and reflect on all that Jesus' resurrection means in my life, but I just kept running. We babysat at church Friday night, practiced for choir Saturday morning, spent Saturday afternoon and evening at a wedding in Central City, picked up the kids, and went back to church on Sunday morning to sing. I was EXHAUSTED! I did nothing all day Monday - unless you count sitting on the couch with a book while the kids played as productive. We did have fun with the kids, though. On Sunday afternoon, we hid Easter eggs for the kids to find. They had such fun! This last weekend the kids and I went back to mama and daddy and Tam and Alan's houses. It was fun to see them, and I got alot done. Mama and I made curtains (in other words she sewed, and I ironed). I'm not much of a sewer, I don't think. I could be if I wanted to badly enough, I suppose. It's just so much easier to go to the store and buy what you want already made. Then, I scrapbooked at Tam's on Saturday. I was happy that I got quite a bit done. And we have curtains in our bedrooms now!
I've been thinking alot lately about how to fit all the suffering around us into what I know about God. I think I grew up fairly sheltered from pain, but the older I get, the more suffering seems to pop up all around me. The list is long just of people in our church that I don't even really know. A three year old girl has leukemia. A mother of 3 is dying of cancer. A baby died after living only 17 days of a heart defect. An 8 month old boy has a brain tumor. Those are just a couple. None of these cases seem to make any sense. What could a small child do to deserve the pain and suffering associated with cancer? Why save a 2 year old girl from cancer only to let her die from it in her 30's when she has a 2 year old daugheter of her own who needs her mommy? These and many more questions don't make any sense to me. God's reasoning seems completely unreasonable. A man preached at our church yesterday about Romans 8:28 "For God causes all things to work together for good for those who love him and are called according to His purpose." He basically said that if we love God and are trying fufill His purpose for our lives (which is becoming more like Christ), then He will take even the terrible, heartbreaking things in our lives and use them for the good of His kingdom. That doesn't necessarily make the bad things ok, but it gives us hope that God knows what He's doing. I guess that's what trusting is - believing in the character and omniscience of God even if He doesn't make sense to us. That's why we can have such hope and excitement in looking towards heaven - there will be no more pain and we will see Jesus face to face.