Thursday, May 9, 2013

Desperate

So let me get this straight. 

A man steals the lives and freedom of three innocent girls.  Just teenagers.  He treats them worse than most people treat their animals.  This man lives on a quiet street in urban America.  An average home on the outside, chains and locked doors on the inside.  He hides his heinous secret for TEN years!  In plain sight. 
When finally caught, the prosecutor wants to charge this man with a crime punishable by the death penalty.  To do this, the prosecution needs a conviction on an aggravated murder charge.  Who did this man murder?  Multiple unborn babies - presumably his own - carried by one of his victims. 
This is headline news. 
And rightly so.  This man has done ugly, disgusting things that should not be imagined let alone acted out. 
Ever.

It is sin. 

Selfishness and lust and hatred in all it's nastiness. 

And that sin should be held up for the whole world to see and proclaimed as the absolute WRONG that it is. 

Meanwhile a man in Philadelphia shows similar disregard for human life.  Multiple people in positions of power in our government and in hospitals in the area neglect to follow through on neon signs shouting that something in this man's clinic is terribly, terribly WRONG.  
He murders babies born alive by snipping their spinal cords at the back of their neck.  Dedicated nurses and doctors would have done every thing possible to give these babies a fighting chance at life if they had been born to mothers who chose life for them. 
Instead this man treats these babies and their marginalized, desperate, lied-to mothers worse than most people treat their animals.  His clinic sits in plain sight for years - normal looking on the outside and filled with jars of tiny baby body parts on the inside. 

And no one noticed and cared enough to scream, "Enough!" 

No one???

Even now this is not headline news.  

Why is this ugly, disgusting thing not being held up for all the world to see as sin? 

How do we fight such evil?  Such callousness toward life? 

As a stay at home mom with not a whole lot of control over my own children (let alone anyone else) and no influence or power, how do I fight this evil?

This is the real reason I wrote this post.  To link you to someone smarter than me who wrote what I wish I had thought of first.  Read this
Seriously. 
Stop reading what I have written and read this.   

Rachel Jankovic does an excellent job of saying how we fight this battle. 
We fight one battle with selfishness in our own hearts, homes, and children at a time. 
Every time we choose someone else above ourselves, we proclaim to a lost world the beauty of our Savior who sacrificed Himself for us. 

Our world is DESPERATE for Him!  Not for anti-abortion laws or guilty verdicts or more police or government regulation. 

WE NEED JESUS.

And the best news ever is this:

He has already won.  =)

Monday, January 7, 2013

Farmer's Wife??

Apparently I am now a farmer's wife.  Today is Caleb's first day at his new job.  He is super excited!

And I would like to point out that it was never my goal in life to be a farmer's wife.

I'm not really much of a country girl.

And yes.  We will be moving to the country.
10 acres 20 miles from anywhere.
And me - scared of snakes and mountain lions and disliking bugs and being hot and sweaty.

Somehow my dreams for me are turning out not to be God's dreams for me.  I love Isaiah 55, but when I read verses 8-9, I seem to have thought they applied to everyone but me.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
         Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
         So are My ways higher than your ways
         And My thoughts than your thoughts."  NAS

How many times have God and I had this conversation??  "Surely I have some decent ideas about what I'd like to do with my life, God.   I mean, my plans can't all be that awful.  It's my life after all."

And God has been ruthless in pursuing me, pointing out to me again and again that not only are His plans for me better than my fumbling attempts to organize my life, but they are perfect. 
Perfectly gracious. 
Full of joy and hope. 
Exactly what I need to make me the person He wants me to be - not just me, but my husband and my kids.

I am learning - SLOWLY as usual - to trust.  Trust that the house that I see as not ideal is His perfect plan for my family.  Trust that mountain lions will not snatch my kids for supper right out of my yard.

And not just trust in resignation but joyfully trust.

Anticipating what God will do next.
Being excited for the opportunity to see the stars and the sunrises and sunsets.
Excited for the lack of wallpaper (!) and for the attached garage and master bath and HUGE south facing windows.
And even excited that Caleb can have a wood stove (even though I think it's ugly and will make a mess).  Oops!  Did I say that out loud??  =) 

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."  James 1:17 ESV

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Beautiful Mess

I look back at today and feel...well honestly?...  mostly guilt.
For the things I should've done.

The list of things completed is always so much shorter than the To Do list.

I lost my patience so many times today.

Learned supper last night was...interesting.

Forgot half the butter in the brownies.
In my defense, I was talking on the phone and fending off four "helping hands" while baking.  It's a miracle they turned out at all.

I heard so much screaming and crying and whining and ugliness coming out of my kids' mouths and hearts.
So much disobedience floating around here.
And not all from small people. 

The living room floor is STILL not vacuumed.

I'm accustomed to just quitting at the end of the day - knowing that I will never be done.  That the list tomorrow constantly grows bigger than the list was today.  Overflowing with the things never finished from the first.

We missed church tonight.  Maybe three nights and one morning a week at church is too much??

And all in the middle of so much NOISE!

Everything is loud with four kids.
And everything takes at least three times longer than you think it should.

So Caleb's putting kids to bed, and it's finally, mostly, quiet.  And I'm reading my Bible.  Which I didn't wake up early enough to do this morning and forgot to do at naptime - again with the guilt.

And here's what I read.  (Out of my grandma's amplified version again - so it's wordy)

Isaiah 62:2-3
"And the nations shall see your righteousness and vindication - your rightness and justice [not your own, but His ascribed to you] - and all kings shall behold your salvation and glory and you shall be called by a a new name, which the mouth of the Lord shall name.  You shall also be [so beautiful and prosperous as to be thought of as] a crown of glory and honor in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem [exceedingly beautiful] in the hand of your God."


God's speaking to Israel here, but work with me...

I tend to think that someday my life will be quiet and calm and serene and beautiful.  And then God will look at me and say, "I know you went through a really rough, crazy time of life but now look at you!  You've survived and the whole world can see my glory shining through you.  You're beautiful!"

But maybe...and believe me, it only feels like maybe...

Maybe God sees His righteousness and His glory and my new name and His salvation shining brilliantly through His work in the middle of my crazy life - this beautiful mess.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Music dilemmas...

I'm doing music at church on Wednesday nights for about 25 fourth, fifth, and sixth grade girls.  Just three songs a week usually.  You'd think it would be easy, right?
A fifteen minute a week commitment?

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

I want to build relationships with these girls.  So I asked for their input.

Fyi:  Not sure I would recommend this.

See, I have sweet, sheltered girls whose minds have been diligently guarded by their parents.  They love the Toby Mac, Brit Nicole, K-LOVE type music.
I can do this on Wednesday nights.  (Since I have no guitar playing skills and the boys stole my husband who is my personal guitar playing guy, I'm stuck playing youtube videos anyway...)
But I also have girls who love Justin Beiber and Taylor Swift - and want to sing their songs for Wednesday nights.

Problem!

I'm not going to argue with their parents here, but I watched Justin Beiber videos on youtube for "research".
Let's just say I could only stomach two.
He's a sweet-faced, cute kid until you see him dancing around provocatively with 20-some year old women in bikinis.

Wow.  Wish I could erase that from my brain.

Anyway...I'm going tonight armed with a few verses to explain why I pick the music I do, and we're going to have a little chat.
Maybe it will go way over their heads.  After all they're 10, 11, 12 years old.  Maybe they'll be annoyed with me and write me off as old and boring.  And maybe one or two of them will remember the Word of God next time they decide what to put into their minds.  

Anyway, the point of this is I'm practicing on you!  Be excited.  I always have to write down important things before I say them to make sure I thought them through right first.  I envy people who can say exactly what they mean the first time without re-wording it in their heads 15 times first...

So.  Here goes.

Ephesians 5:18b - 19
" Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord."

I might just stick to this one verse.  Don't wanna beat them over the head with a bunch of "shall nots".  
I love this "making Melody" phrase.  I feel like it sums up my whole life.  This is what I want any music that comes out of my mouth to be about.

My story goes like this.  I grew up listening to what my parents told me to listen to - read Sandi Patti and Steve Green.   My goal in life was to sing like Sandi Patti.  I sang ALL the time.  I remember my poor parents reminding me at practically every meal that it's rude to sing and/or hum constantly while eating.  (Yes, I know.  Now my kids do this too...)
Still today I ALWAYS have a song in my head.  This morning when I woke up the first thing that popped into my head was, "Worthy is the Lamb seated on the throne.  Crown You now with many crowns.  You reign victorious!"

In highschool, it was SO NOT COOL to listen to KROA.  So I started trying to fit in.  I wanted to avoid the - get in the car with your friends and not know whatever really popular Celine Dion song is playing and sit there like an idiot while everyone sings along but me - awkward situation.
So I started listening to Britney Spears and whatever else was on. 
I clearly remember being in the shower one morning singing, "Hit me baby one more time" when all of a sudden I thought, "I don't even know what this means?!"  "What is this crap I am putting in my head???"
And I decided I was done.

So I purposely pick music with really good words.  I'm pretty picky about it.  Annoyingly so, my husband would say.  He loves all kinds of music.  And he informs me that my "awesome words" music has a tendency to be BORING.
But I love it.
It puts my mind on Jesus all the time.  And keeps it there during my crazy days.


Hmmm...  That's all I have.  I'm afraid it's not going to go over well with pre-teen girls.
Help!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Ethan's baptism

 Ethan got baptized on Sunday after church.  He's been nagging - read asking as nicely as any growing boy can manage - Caleb and I for a long time to let him.  And in our defense, we wanted to, but the last two opportunities were our 10th anniversary and my birthday, and we were out of town both times.
Huh.

Anyway, we learned something.
This kid is destined to be a preacher.  Give him a mic and an audience who has to sit still and listen to him, and he will TALK.
I don't know why I should be surprised by this.  He's been talking nonstop to me and Caleb and anyone else who is anywhere near him for the past nine years.
It's a gift (although some days it doesn't seem like it) that I pray God channels for His purposes.


All my kids are so incredibly blessed to have several generations of godly men (and women) in their lives.  And I am so thankful for His goodness.  Ethan doesn't have to look far to find great examples of godly men to follow.  So, for the baptism, my dad, Alan, and Caleb figured out a way to split two jobs between three people.  =)

I was thinking Sunday morning about all the people who should've been at this baptism.  Sunday School teachers and others from Faith who spoke Truth into Ethan's young mind faithfully for many of the years of his life.  
And my grandma and Caleb's grandpa who prayed faithfully for him every day from the day he was born until their deaths. 

I LOVE the verse written on the wall.
It's Psalm 1:2&3.  (The reason I know this is because I memorized Psalm 1 in Fourth grade at LCS, and I can still quote it to this day.  Which I take as a reminder that what my kids learn now might just stick with them for the rest of their lives...)

"His delight is in the law of the Lord
and on His law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers" 

It seems like that's my job as a mom.  To plant my kids close to Jesus - the living water.   
And then to nurture their love for Him.  
Shelter them from strong winds and water them through droughts.  
Coax their roots to grow deep and aim for the Living Water.  
And pray that their delight is in God.  
That their lives are prosperous - not in the way the world defines prosperity - but prosperous in the kingdom of God.
And remember that trees yield fruit in season.  Maybe not today when they're still growing and immature, but someday.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Maybe I should stay away from the news from now on...

I have a few things to say about the news today.
Be excited.  =)

First:
Why should we read news articles and watch endless videos about the terrible destruction that might hit our east coast?  It seems the journalists and reporters want to scare us half to death calling it a "Frankenstorm" and comparing it to the movie, "The Perfect Storm."
Now I agree, it will be sad if millions of people's lives are interrupted and devastated by a giant storm. 
But we've totally missed the point that it already hit Haiti and Cuba - our needy neighbors. 
The lucky citizens of our East Coast have some combination of bank accounts, beach homes, vehicles to drive inland for the weekend (like a mini-vacation!), car insurance, home insurance, flood insurance, and (if all else fails) state and federal governments who will send rescue helicopters to fish them off their roofs.
The people of Haiti and Cuba have none of those options.  I think of the thousands of people living in tent cities in Haiti since the earthquake (how many years ago?) with little more than the clothes on their backs and the cardboard over their heads. 
Talk about devastation.

Second:
Along the same lines.
The news people seem to be bragging this morning that the presidential candidates have spend two BILLION dollars on this year's presidential race. 
Most of it focused on making the other guy look like an incompetent fool. 
Which has made most of us sick and tired of both of them.
Just one question.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HUNGRY KIDS WE COULD FEED WITH TWO BILLION DOLLARS??



Friday, September 14, 2012

Feeling dry?

This has been an extremely dry summer here in Nebraska.  The fields are edged with dead corn - those plants too far away from the irrigation shriveled up and died long before it was time to turn brown for harvest.  The difference between plants that were given water and plants that received none is stark.
Even the leaves on the trees lining the roads turned brown and died long before they should have.  If you walk along under them, the leaves crunch, reminding you of fall.  But you know it's a sign of premature death.

It's not supposed to be this way.  It's supposed to rain.

I wonder if the weather can affect my soul.

Ever feel brittle?  Thirsty?  Forgotten?

Well.  Here's my cure for that today.

"Then Jehoshaphat feared, and set himself [determinedly, as his vital need] to seek the Lord."  2 Chronicles 20:3 (My grandma's Amplified Bible that I've been reading through)
Judah and Israel are split.  God's chosen people separated into two nations.  Israel is under the rule of a wicked man named Ahab.  Remember the stories of Elijah running from an evil king?  That's Ahab.  The mountain with the prophets of Baal and the fire falling from heaven?  Ahab.  Jezebel?  Ahab's wife.

But Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah, has decided that he's going to be different.  He's going to seek God and worship Him alone.  And what does he get for his loyalty?  Attacked by the Moabites, Ammonites, and Meunites (whoever they are) - a HUGE army.  

Jehoshaphat panics just for a second and then he decides to seek God, praying, "We have no might to stand against this great company that is coming against us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You."  2 Chron. 20:12

 And then?

Jehoshaphat and all Israel with him, "stood before the Lord" (vs 13) and waited.  Who knows how long, but they stood there until God spoke.

This is the part where it's easy to feel brittle.  Easy to feel that if it doesn't rain soon you might just shrivel up and die under the pounding of the sun.  Easy to feel that while God has been pouring Himself out to show others His heart, He's forgotten you.

But God is faithful and always answers His people.

"You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your position, stand still, and see the deliverance of the Lord [Who is] with you, O Judah and Jerusalem.  Fear not, nor be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you." (vs 17)

So... (I LOVE THIS!) Jehoshaphat sends his army out the next morning led by a praise band singing, "Give thanks to the Lord, for His mercy and lovingkindness endure forever!" (vs. 21).
As a singer and not a warrior, it takes faith to walk in front of the fighting men to meet your enemies' advancing armies.  But when Judah arrived at the battlefield, they saw that God had been there before them and the armies were already dead.
All of them.
Suspecting betrayal among the armies, they had destroyed each other.

And God receives all the praise and glory for the victory.  Every nation surrounding Judah and God's people themselves know that the battle was won by God!

So, my takeaway from all this?  What's the cure for feeling forgotten?
1.)  Set yourself to seek God.  Fight distraction.
2.)  Stand in the presence of God and wait.
3.)  Remind yourself that God is always faithful!
4.)  Whatever He tells you to do - DO IT!
5.)  Praise God knowing that when He answers, all the glory will (deservedly) go to Him!