Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I quite homeschooling yesterday. My house was (ok, is) a mess. The girls were screaming. I had a MILLION other things to do. And I was trying to teach review math (no new, difficult concepts) to an extremely unmotivated 6 year old who was answering questions wrong on purpose because he thought it was funny. So I quit. I put the stuff away and told him he'd have to go to school in the fall. I don't care where. But I am not Superwoman. I can't homeschool an elementary student, give a preschooler, a toddler, and an infant everything they need, cook healthy, cheap meals (which means making alot of stuff from scratch), do endless piles of laundry, keep my house clean and organized, and be available for my husband when he needs me. It's too much. Something has to give because I feel like I'm losing my mind. Ok. I'm complaining. Probably not the best way to handle my frustration, but I do have a point. =)
Here goes. This is what I read in "My Utmost for His Highest" today:
"We are not meant to be illuminated versions, but the common stuff of ordinary life exhibiting the marvel of the grace of God. Drudgery is the touchstone of character. The great hindrance of spiritual life is that we will look for big things to do. "Jesus took a towel...and began to wash the disciples' feet."...Learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God...The tiniest detail in which I obey has all the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it. If I do my duty, not for duty's sake, but because I believe God is engineering my circumstances, then at the very point of my obedience the whole superb grace of God is mine through atonement."

This is Chambers' thought for the day taken from I Peter 1:3-8.
"Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualitites are your and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

This is encouraging to me. First it gives me a list to guide what to consider important in my personal growth and in guiding my kids. Apply diligence in faith to grow in moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. Those are the things I should be focusing on. And then it reminded me that the drudgery of life (changing diapers, washing dishes, folding laundry, scrubbing the toilet) is of worth in God's eyes - even if in no one else's. The world does not put a high value on what I do every day. In fact they degrade it. But it is what God has called me to do for now, and in obeying His calling, I bring Him glory.
I still have no idea what to do with Ethan for school, but I feel less frustrated at least. =)

1 comment:

Chip Burkitt said...

I love you, Melody! You don't sugar-coat life. The grace of God turning drudgery into glory---I never know what to expect from you. Keep fighting the good fight.