Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Joyful uncertainty

I'm a planner. I like to know what's going on when, so I can get used to the idea. If Caleb calls at 5:00 to tell me he'll be at work til 9:00, I'll probably get upset. I had already planned a nice supper and evening with my husband, and the last minute notice that he won't be there throws me off. On the flip side, I love to dream about fun things like vacations and family get-togethers. I think about them for weeks (ok, months) ahead of time.
It's probably no surprise then that at the beginning of a new year, I like to think about what I'd like to accomplish this year. I usually write a list of goals for the year. Goals for my kids. Goals for my marriage. Spiritual goals. Some show up every year: Get back in shape (again). Catch up on my scrapbooking.
So when I was reading my daily "My Utmost for His Highest" excerpt the other morning, I paid attention when it started out, "Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing."
Who, me? =) It continues:
"Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means to be uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. . . . Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy."
I have no idea what 2010 will bring for our family. We will have lots of opportunities and decisions no doubt. I pray that God will grant us wisdom and direct our paths into His ways. I have great peace knowing that God knows what is in store for us this year. And I am excited to relax and live in "spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy." Or try anyway....

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